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Getting through Grief “Feel it to Heal it”

“Feel it to Heal it”

  1. The intensity of your mourning is reflective of the love and connection shared.
  2. There is no timeline for grief. Be gentle with yourself through the process.
  3. Everyone grieves differently. When in doubt of how to help, ask and do not offer unwanted advice or judgements.
  4. Some people are numb for the first year or focused on logistics and basic survival.
  5. Identify what you need and ask for it. You are not being a burden.
  6. You can’t remind someone of their pain. Reach out often.
  7. Milestones and anniversaries are especially difficult for those left behind.
  8. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions, including denial, anger, sadness, fear, guilt and eventually acceptance as you allow yourself to feel all of your emotions.
  9. It is normal for your memory, concentration and motivation to be reduced.
  10. Do what brings you comfort. Take care of your basic needs, one minute at a time, one day at a time until you feel ready for more.  You get to decide.  You get to change your mind.

 Flower | Joe Jungmann | Flickr

Building Resilience “Finding Joy Again”

  1. You do not have to feel guilty for laughing or enjoying a moment after your loved one has passed away. You are still here.  This shows how much you cherish life.
  2. Take time to focus on what you are grateful for, no matter how small to counter anxiety and relieve guilt.
  3. Hold onto hope that in time you will start to feel better. Remind yourself of your strengths and ability to overcome challenges in the past.  Notice what you do right or what goes right in a day.
  4. Offer yourself compassion and learn to self-soothe as you ride the waves of your emotions.
  5. In time, find a way in time to make meaning of the tragedy and honour their memory. How can your loved one’s legacy continue? How have you learned/grown/changed for the better?


Local Resources:

Individual, Couple or Family Support: 
Family Counselling Centre of Cambridge and North Dumfries

Group Support:                The Coping Centre

                                        Bereaved Families of Ontario, Midwestern Region

                                        Hospice Waterloo Region

                                        Lissard House


Poem- “The Silence”